You, I bet it doesn’t make you feel good. I bet you don’t even care enough to notice. I bet you’ve simply become accustomed to the comfort of cruelty. It’s easy, right? It’s just a dog. It’s just a dog. Plus, you don’t have to go out of your way. All you have to do [...]
Archive for the ‘animals’ Category
our promise to you
Posted in animals, evil-doers unite, tagged animal cruelty, because when everybody thought somebody would do something nobody did anything on November 17, 2009 | 30 Comments »
too close for comfort
Posted in TMI Thursdays, animals, don't touch my ball, nuts on the side, southern exposure on September 3, 2009 | 21 Comments »
At some point yesterday, there was a playful APB put out on my balls. Let me assure you, they will not be on display on this blog. Frankly, they are not fans of sunlight. Additionally, there’s always the risk of moisture out in the open and we all know what that would mean. So rather [...]
no contest
Posted in animals, here kitty kitty - fear kitty kitty, i'm only happy when he maims, keepin it Disney, tagged i am a ruh-tard, Shere Khan ain't nuttin to play wit on August 13, 2009 | 21 Comments »
I tried, Maxie. I tried so hard. I tried so hard to find a way to say tigers are better than sharks. Tigers are better than sharks… in cartoons. I thought about every cartoon tiger I could remember because, as you all probably know by now, that’s how this brain I’ve got works. I came [...]
irrational fears make sense to me
Posted in animals, movie, tv, tagged Discovery Channel, Shark Week on August 3, 2009 | 23 Comments »
Throw your hands in the air! *crowd thrusts hands* And wave ‘em around like you’re screaming for your life! *crowd drops hands, wonders wtf is going on* Cuz it’s Shark Week, mofos! *crowd catches on, recommences hand-waving* That’s right: Shark Week. It’s the week when the Discovery Channel strives to convince us that sharks are [...]
NYC Prey School
Posted in animals, celebrity, don't take me seriously, poking poverty in the eye, satire, tv, tagged bravo Bravo, feeding frenzy? more like FUN frenzy, into the lions' den with you and you and you..., NYC Prep on June 18, 2009 | 14 Comments »
Underwhelmed by last night’s SYTYCD, I sorted through my go-to-channels (Discovery, NatGeo and Animal Planet). At any given moment, there is a show on at least one of those channels featuring adventurists gone wild, seemingly begging for a no-casket-death and poking at the fragile human/wildlife balance. I found “Lion Feeding Frenzy.” The premise? Well, you [...]
bigdamnfish-a-phobia
Posted in animals, evil-doers unite, movie, tv, urine and I'm out, video, tagged not in my urethra you won't on June 1, 2009 | 21 Comments »
I usually can’t stand when people start a sentence with “I don’t do” and end it with an inanimate object or concept, like “showers,” or “mornings.” Nonetheless… I don’t do open water. So it should it go without saying that I’ve never seen the movie by that name: Yet for reasons unknown, I’m fascinated by [...]
a piglet service announcement
Posted in animals, satire, tagged i teach because i care, paging Dr. f.B, pig flu remedies, swine flu, this post tastes like expired bacon on May 6, 2009 | 18 Comments »
Disclaimer: If you or someone you love has pig flu, you may not find this very funny. And by transitive property, if you do not find this funny, you or someone you love has pig flu (I guarantee) and you might want to get that checked out. _____ When Alltop asked me to inform the [...]
a squirrel’s gotta do..
Posted in NaBloPoMo, animals, evolution, out and about, photo, tagged sometimes you feel like a nut and sometimes you don't on April 19, 2009 | 15 Comments »
Everyone’s making adjustments these days. Apparently, even the wildlife. These pictures are of a squirrel at its tree-home just down the street from my house. Who knows what was in that brown bag it had? And though I tried my best, these still shots of what it did with that brown bag will probably not [...]
i will planet that animal
Posted in animals, celebrity, i'm only happy when he maims, satire, tv, tagged i will remember you Stalks, if i had a wild cheetah..., move over Spurlock - there's a new kid in town, there's a Jay-Z line in there on March 31, 2009 | 28 Comments »
Morgan Spurlock parlayed his Super Size Me fame and indie-film-street-cred into a number of really challenging adventures on 30 Days, a show on FX. Every episode is a new venture into lifestyle immersion. One of my favorite episodes is the premiere: Minimum Wage. Spurlock and his special lady friend had to live on minimum wage [...]
motherduckers and bird-brains
Posted in animals, homelife, keepin it Disney, photo, tagged i'm not a bird-catcher - i'm a "get out of my house enthusiast", if i could walk with the animals or talk with the animals they'd tell me yo go home and shut up, that bird and i faced-off like Travolta and Cage - i won the war and he took off but left a pile of waste on March 24, 2009 | 20 Comments »
Dr. Dolittle, I am not. But we grew up with all sorts of pets: a rabbit, a turtle, fish my brother’s first grade teacher had to give to someone when the summer came, and, of course, a dog. We even once “had” ducks. They were “ours” because one day a motherducker decided our front yard [...]
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