We were gathered here, this weekend, to celebrate the “union” of two of the internet-universe’s brightest stars, Maxie and LiLu.
From kingdoms far and wide — Texas, Toronto, Boston, Narnia, Philly, Florida, Virginia, and Neverland (just to name a few) — people descended upon DC by the dozens to witness two lovebirds take flight.
And I guess “epic” is used a lot. So I’ll say it was sexy. How sexy? Not just “I’m not shy, so I asked for the digits” sexy. No. More like, this weekend was so sexy, it made you want to drop your pants and go at it right in front of everyone so badly that a few times you even caught yourself unbuttoning your fly, or tugging at the zipper, and had to decide right then and there just how important pride was when having fun.
I may have decided to ignore pride a few times.
Actually, I should pause here and apologize to Recessions, the bar we went to Friday night. In a successful attempt at solving the world’s race relations crisis (yet again) with LiLu’s B — (read: performing a karaoke version of Ebony & Ivory) — I may have ended the set by yelling “Sexual Chocolate” à la
and then dropping the mic on the floor and walking away.
I am sorry, Recessions. I did not mean to use your props as, well, props. I got carried away in the moment. B and I were doing the best Rat Pack impression1 we could, I was trying to make up for the fact that I chose to sing my half of the song in some sort of Kermit the frog + country twang and, yadda yadda yadda, out came Sexual Chocolate.
But enough about me.
The weekend was epic.2 I’m starting to become convinced that there isn’t a single scene from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia that we don’t have the personnel to recreate. There was so much salt flying
this weekend that there’s still some in the coat I wore to work today. Next Always Sunny mission: wine from a can.
I don’t even know how to tell a story in this post. There was the almost-in-labor pregnant woman downing 32 oz beers on Friday night while getting dry humped and doing some dry humping of her own, all while getting her belly and ass spanked. There was ultimate karaoke (with video to prove it), multiple brunches, rampant fondling, even more groping, goblets the size of your face, 80s style bling (i.e., gold) draped around necks, dance battles…
This weekend needs a few pages in the record books.
_____________
1Brought our drinks on stage with us; skipped lyrics to drink mid-song…
2Balls. I said it anyway.
When I am pregnant, I am all about getting dry humped and wasted. What is the problem?
No problem. Well, maybe for your baby. But not for anyone watching.
I tried but failed miserably at describing the awesomeness that was this Saturday. I think we should just have had a running video camera recording everything.
Totally agree. And not my phone, which sucks in the dark.
I’ve dropped the mic at the end of kareoke once. People just don’t get the power of the mic drop.
It sounds like the event was a true success! I knew it would be.
You have? I bet you did it better than I did. The DJ was not pleased; not at all.
I must be there next year.
Just two words: That rocks!
We should make something happen sooner than next year. We have to.
LOL. I would have paid to see you yell “sexual chocolate” and drop the mic! Hilarious! Were you wearing the same blue and ruffles combo as him?
I wasn’t. But oh how I wish I was. Maybe it’s not too late to change my idea for Halloween.
Ahhh, sounds amazing!!! I would expect nothing less from the DC blogger scene.
Your invitation is always open. Always.
Hahaha! That sounds like a blast! Karaoke is always a good time, lol
Always. And I really didn’t know it until a month ago.
You forgot about your dance-off with Maxie.
INTERVENTION! INTERVENTION!
I did? Well, it happened. And I may have looked like a stripper while doing it. In other words, as intended.
At least you didn’t yell “we’re getting married! and we’re going to have sex for the first time”
yea. that was me.
Honestly? My favorite part of the whole weekend.
I am intervening on this post to say thank you, so much, for everything. What on earth would I do without you and Miss B? No one would get my bleached asshole jokes.
Excuse me while I go vomit in my hair.
You can’t be without us because we need you like Artemis needs to blast her nips.
I fully support wine in a can. It’s good for violent hand gestures.
I think I’ve said this before, but I am so, so glad you’re on board with Sunny.
What’s wrong with epic? If the shoe fits.
It was a pleasure to meet you and Miss B! I only wish Shine and I had been able to make in town in time to see you karaoke. I feel like I should put it on my life list
.
Oh, I like epic. I just wanted to say “sexy.”
And, um, there is karaoke video. I can’t even watch it myself. I just know how bad it is.
I gave up on describing it and just called it “a lot of awesome.”
There are no words.
Great to meet you guys!
None. No words. If you look closely, I wrote a couple hundred words of “not even close to describing it” today.
Good meeting you… we should have done an intervention on the pregnant lady drinking King Kong beers.
Same, man. And I thought about that, too, but hey, it’s her baby I guess.
I am so butthurt that I wasn’t there that … well … my butt hurts.
We are like Preparation H for butthurt. Medical fact.
Iwannapartywithyou!!!!!!! (you will be the MAN if you know where that quote comes from.)
I’m the queen of butthurt this week.
Just saying.
Wow, sounds crazy!
man i wished i was there. i miss me some DC bloggers
OK.
…just delurking in the manner I promised you I would! Haha, it was so wonderful meeting you!
That sounds real epic hahahha
I’ll forgive not being told about Recessions simply because you quoted “Shoop” pretty stealthily. Well done, sir.
someone from cleveland came too….
i’m still finding salt.
1. I am forever grateful to the DC bloggers for introducing me to Always Sunny.
2. Your kermit the frog interpretation of Ebony and Ivory will forever live in infamy.
3. I will never look at salt the same way again.
I am really pissed that I was to hung over to witness the salting. I feel I missed a great oppertunity to have an intervention.
So. Jel. I don’t get the Always Sunny references *ducks* but I can appreciate a good ‘do. And this ‘do? Looks like it did.
I tried to avoid talk about this because I was sad not to go but dammit I can’t afford plane tickets.
This is like someone in the 60′s missing out on Woodstock I was so bummed.
At least there’s video evidence.
[...] was a very memorable night out, and I could try and list all the twerps that were there but it would be a very valiant, yet incomplete effort. Check out Lilu’s “guestbook” for [...]
I apologize for the “fan boy” comment of mine here, but I do not really have much else to add. Great post.