Once upon a time, on a swing set far, far away, three third-graders discussed fourth-grade indiscretions.
Janey: I heard that Mikey P. kissed Patty Stevens near that rock in the woods.
Rocky: Me, too. Last week he held hands with Marysol.
Tiffany: Yeah. They’re all gonna have babies.
Fast forward to last week (the part where we haven’t grown up, at all).
A similar conversation went like this.
The entire media: David Letterman had some sex with some ladies.
The entire media: Oooh. Let’s tell.
The “story:” Dave had some sex with some ladies on his staff that were not the woman he was then-dating, whom he had a kid with in 2003 and to whom he is now married. Someone found out and allegedly tried to blackmail Dave. Dave went on the offensive and pressed charges, which, of course, meant he had to go public with the underlying story of his sexing ladies not his girlfriend at the time.
There’s your nutshell.
And I don’t get the coverage. Sure. Dave put his p in some v; maybe even a little a. Maybe he got kinky and went for the ear. Whatever. Absent abuse, I don’t give a damn where he hides his unit or who unsheathes his sword.
The only actual story is that it’s almost 2010 and your professional reputation as a dude who tells jokes is still in jeopardy for legal sex.
Someone, please: explain to me why the world is so keyed into reading what are basically just warped adaptations of Oh, the Places You’ll Go! starring celebrity genitalia?
I don’t get the coverage either. You’d think the pope had sex with some of his staff, not Letterman.
Now that would be a time when the sex itself was a story.
Hm. I feel like the coverage has actually been fairly minimal—largely because Dave told his story first. If he hadn’t, then the media would have had a field day. But, everything I’ve read thus far has been media critics praising him for “coming clean” and “going on the offensive” and “putting the spotlight on the true crime of blackmail and extorsion.” Riiiiiiight.
At the end of the day, I’m more concerned for those poor women who actually found Dave Letterman even remotely sexy enough to bang. Yech. I fear for those women, I really do.
Oh, yeah. It’s not like it’s getting the kind of play that Brad, Angelina and Jennifer get, for instance. That’s absolutely true. Just too much until they tell me there’s actually something about it I need to know.
I think Dave did the right thing by coming clean and exposing this S.O.B the crazy part is this dude had a good job. He is a producer for pete’s sake. I would expect something like this to come from the janitor, or the intern he won’t promote after he banged her or something like that. So he cheated. With a co-worker. Big effing deal. So did 2/3 of America.
Right. It would be one thing if the producer raised an alert because of the office politics issue, but not for personal gain. That’s just, well, illegal.
That’s something I really don’t expect the guy could do.
I mean, yikes.
Yeah. I guess he just… actually, I have no idea why.
you are one of the funniest bloggers i know.
Flattery is awesome. But I could name at least 20 better than me without even checking my reader. I’m just a dude, but I appreciate it, man.
Society is fascinated with celebrities because they don’t want to admit their own faults.
However, I think Dave Letterman did it better than most (i.e. John Edwards) because he came clean without having a scandal/rumors swirling for months.
True. Hopefully this means it doesn’t drag forever unless there’s actually a real story at the core of it.
Because people like to judge others even though they are doing the exact same thing (or sometimes worse) in their own lives.
Who fracking cares who he fracking slept with?!
p.s. Awesome post.
(thanks) We all judge. It just seems like a lot of work to provide that much info just so we can judge. It’s one thing if it comes easily, but with these things, they dedicate people to investigating every detail of how it all went down (up or sideways, in a chair, whatever). Overkill.
“Maybe he got kinky and went for the ear.”
Tea, meet keyboard.
Ha. I couldn’t help it. Sorry.
i wouldn’t hit it.
Do you mean “maybe?”
God am I with you on this one. I don’t really care who any celebrity anywhere sleeps with, whether they cheat on their significant other, who the father of their child is or any of the rest of it. They’re just people. People who do the same dumb shit the rest of us do. Why is that news?
Meanwhile, the economy is tanking, there’s a war going on and we have way more important things to hear/talk about. It’s ridiculous.
He tells jokes for a living. I have no idea what his sex life has to do with that.
It’s the gap in the teeth. Nobody can believe he’d get so much action. Ear or otherwise.
So it’s the element of surprise? That does make more sense.
I think I like your coverage of this better. Especially the comparison to third and graders. Spot on.
Third-graders are so wise. They are just chock-full of lessons.
Hm, well, I think it is more about sexual politics in the work place. Sure, it is DL so it gets more coverage, but it is worth discussing.
Did the women he slept with get preferential treatment?
As their boss, couldn’t you argue he abused his power?
Perhaps some women still believe they have to bone the boss to get ahead? Perhaps there is some truth to that?
Yanno, big picture and all that. I don’t think it is just about 2 people boning.
Sex in the workplace always involves power, even if not explicitly intended. No argument at all. Is that a story? Yes. But I think it’s been left relatively undiscovered in the context of how this whole thing has been discussed. The discussion I’ve heard has been limited in its perspective.
I’m with Lemmonex on this one, the sexual politics of the story combined with Mr. Letterman’s notoriety make this newsworthy to some degree. The part of the story that everyone seems to be largely ignoring is that a member of the CBS news team tried to extort money from the subject of a story in order to keep it from the press. That is a violation of journalistic ethics of the highest order.
You hit the nail on the head for me. There are other elements here that are newsworthy; namely the extortion and sexual politics issues. But, as you said, “everyone seems to be largely ignoring” them. And that’s my point. We’re still talking about the sex and private relationships like they matter.
Answer: It’s leftover sexual repression from the fact we started off as a Puritan-esque country.
Fun Answer: Everyone is horny, and likes to live vicariously.
I like both answers.
Someone was just trying to get some hush money and instead he decided to go public.
Or not.
Yep. He called someone’s bluff. And he “won.”
*he meaning Dave.
i’m having a hard time mustering up the energy to care about this story. i don’t really care about dave letterman in the FIRST place; why does the media think i care who he boned in the past..?
That too. I never thought he was really that funny.
You know what it is? The media is jealous. Dave was getting laid and they got jealous. I wanna stick my P in some V! Stupid Dave.
I still can’t believe there is more than one person out there who banged him… I just don’t get it.
p.s. miss you face.
I’m kind of indifferent to the whole thing. But, he’s not a hypocrite or an elected official, so I don’t get the coverage.
I don’t like him. And my dislike for David Letterman began way before p was in v and maybe a or e.
He is ugly for one. His jokes arent funny either. I prefer Conan. This goes back to me needing to fall asleep to the same channel and wake up to it too.
i.e. all things NBC.