So two out of three ain’t bad, unless we’re talking about places that serve food and what happens two out of three times is miserable disaster.
I didn’t go to be impressed. I didn’t go with very high expectations. But who cares why I went? The point is that, not long after I left, I was reduced to huddling in the fetal position wishing the pain — which I can only describe as having swallowed a fertilized alien egg and then having it hatch as the new alien baby tries to claw its way out through your belly button — would stop long enough for me to sleep through the night.
I guess I shouldn’t say the name of the restaurant where my cousin and me had lunch on Saturday. I mean, 13 years ago, Oprah got sued by the whole friggin’ cattle industry for saying she didn’t trust beef. And, clearly, my influence and Oprah’s influence are like this *crosses fingers.*
I’ll just say its name rhymes with “Boobie Losedays” and “Tuby Ruesdays.”
For over ten years, we honored a family vow never to eat at this restaurant, ever, again. That’s what happens when three of you go, order three completely different entrées from the menu and each get ill within an hour of leaving.
I broke the family pledge about a year ago. And it ended fine. It wasn’t particularly high quality food, but it got the job done. So I went again Saturday thinking it would all be cool.
It was not cool. And I have remembered a tough lesson, being from Jersey, I know all too well: never go against the family.²
Note: If you, unnamed restaurant’s marketing machine, just so happen to come across this post, don’t bother giving me gift cards or whatever to try convincing me you can do better. Not interested.
_________
¹He needs no introduction. Just go here.
²I can make that joke because The Sopranos filmed in my county.
Hahahaha I have a place I swore off never to eat there again. Haven’t broken it yet but I wonder if I go out and some friends insisted to go there?
I may just order a water. Maybe.:p
Yeah. Stick with the water. And I guess the other drinks are probably fine, too. Just make sure you use a straw.
I worked at that establishment not long after one opened in my hometown. I didn’t mind the food there, mostly because it was discounted for me and the place still had something to prove being a new store.
I guess food poisoning does sound like something an establishment who calls its hosts/hostesses ‘Smiling People Greeters’ would be all about.
Hope you feel better.
Thanks. I feel a little better today. It’s just weird. I’ve got such a strong stomach. But by the time I got home on Saturday, I knew it was going to be a sad night.
I don’t mean to mock your pain… ok, maybe just a little bit… but those who dine at places like that and their pernicious television advertising ilk, are bound to eventually have their chicken tenders come home to roost.
Haha. Good jab. And you’re right: you get what you pay for. But absence makes the heart grow fonder, right? So let’s think of my (last and final) trip to Tuby Ruesday’s as a way to appreciate the finer things in life.
The salad bar always appears fresh?
I should’ve done that. I watched my cousin order it but I got adventurous and went with a turkey burger.
Yikes! That sucks! You should contact your Board of Health and Sanitation department about that place .
You know what? That’s not a bad idea.
I got food poisoning from a pizza place in Halifax almost two years ago, and I swear every time I walk by it I still get a little shudder.
Also, the Sopranos is one of the greatest TV shows in the history of everything. Fact.
Fact. Truth. Commandment.
I haven’t eaten at Boobie Losedays in a LONG TIME. There’s always somewhere else I’d rather go. I’ve sworn off eating at J. Alexander’s, though… I didn’t get sick from the food, but the trauma of having EVERYTHING you eat or drink taste like sour milk is something that’s hard to bounce back from. GROSS.
Sour milk?? Note to self: avoid J. Alexander’s at all costs; at all costs.
Ah yes, I do believe I may know which restaurant you are referring to. I have also made that vow. I’m proud to say I haven’t broken it. We should get a reward or something for not breaking this particular promise.
You made that vow, too? I hope it wasn’t because you got sick.
The only thing I know about that place is that they apparently have a good salad bar.
That’s what my cousin got! And he survived.
I about spit my coffee all over my computer when I realized you not only referenced Meatloaf, but linked to the video. Classic.
Sorry about the food poisoning. I’ve had it and it feels like hell.
Meatloaf works as a side joke in so — so — many posts.
This is exactly how I feel about Crapplebee’s.
I haven’t been to one of those in years. But, also, for some reason, all this reminds me about the movie Office Space and her pieces of flair.
Ohhhh the flair. LMAO.
Love that movie. “Take that Job and Shove It” just came up on shuffle an hour or so ago.
Dude! That is the worst feeling ever. I got the illness from Taco Hell one time and had to go to the ER, where I worked. Nothing is worse than having a female co-worker check you for rectal bleeding due to food poisoning… I didn’t even get a kiss afterwards.
Not even a kiss? Rude.
so according to the bristol stool scale, how did it come out?
Haha. Actually, there were no — how do you say — outward expressions of food poisoning this weekend; only me, curled up in a ball, sad and inwardly injured.
oooooh food poisoning is NOT FUN. so sorry.
the opening sequence of the sopranos is my mom’s childhood neighborhood
We have to — have to — talk more about Jersey.
I have never liked that place anyway! UGH!
Me, neither. I went against my instinct.
hahahah…. cracking up at “Boobie Losedays”
We don’t have one around these here parts and I guess now I’m glad we don’t.
Aside from that.. you know? I am NOT a big fan of dining out. I hate the wait. The whole waiting thing in general, yah know? Wait for the hostess to seat you. Wait for the waitress to ask if you want something to drink. Wait for the bartender to make said drink. Then wait for the waitress to come back with said drink. UGH.
I am a very busy person, dammit. Don’t make me wait! hehehee
Dining out is really touch and go. The right place is worth the wait. But a lot of places — *ahem* — disappoint.
“Boobie Losedays” sounds like a condition one might contract if this were the 1950′s.
But on the serious note, I second contacting the board of health.
Haha. It does. That’s pretty brilliant. I’m sure you could get it by hand-holding or cheek-kissing or something.
I got food poisoning from the barbeque at one of my favorite restaurants in Chapel Hill a couple years back.
The mind-boggling thing is my friend had the exact, I mean exact, same thing I had and nothing happened to her. I was curled up on the bathroom floor of our hotel room cursing God and all that was good and pure for my fate. And her? She was sleeping like a baby.
Sometimes life just likes to kidney punch you.
Oh yeah, you should definitely report said Boobie Loseday’s to the Health Dept.
Life definitely kidney-punched me. I’m still feeling it today. My cousin walked away completely unscathed.