It’s not often that I am truly surprised by great news. I’m not the kind of person who wins things based on luck/fortune or who actually gets an umbrella full of pennies from heaven when he walks with one upside-down.¹ It’s not that I’m Eeyore or anything. It’s just that I usually see great news coming because I’ve been breaking my back to make it happen.
So it was a huge surprise when, after a months-long back-and-forth with a certain student-loaning institution, I learned that not only had the problems with my account I’d been identifying since April been fixed, but my payment for this month was waived (due to the confusion) and my payment schedule overall had become much more favorable.
Awesome, right? Awesome.
But because there wasn’t enough humor in that pure awesomeness — I need my jokes my man; I need ‘em — I decided to dig a little deeper. I started counting the dollars I’ve “spent” on education and came up with a list.
Things I could have done with the money it cost to go to GW twice:
- Finally made it to Machu Picchu to pick up that llama I put on lay-away at a Peruvian K-Mart when I was ten.
- Gotten change back… after buying a Bentley.
- Made the standard down payment on a house. A $13.8 million house.
- Financially backed lobbying for unconditionally equivocal voting rights for DC.
- Been to see the Grammys live every single year.
- Lived the dream of carrying a steel suitcase full of unmarked bills; worthwhile money, not twenties and tens.
- Mass-produced the hoverboards from Back to the Future Part II.
- Flown anyone reading this to the happy hour on Friday and back home. Anyone. From anywhere. Yes: that includes outer space because I have a NASA coupon.
In all seriousness, I think I do regret not having crafted a better plan for years 18-25. But it’s a regret I don’t take very seriously. I mean, if I actually had that llama, I’m sure I would’ve been pissed the first time I got a citation for “Failing to Curb a Llama.” There’s no way I’d want to pick up anything a llama wanted to return to the earth. That’s a delicate balance that shouldn’t be disturbed.
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¹Honestly, Billie: did this really happen to you? Because when I make sure that my umbrella is turned upside-down, I get poked in the eye by those pointy metal things on it.
Oh…GW.
That is all I’m gonna say.
But yay for good news.
Hail to the buff! Hail to the blue!
A bentley and 13,8 million dollars house? Now that’s what I call a guy who knows how to put a money to a good use! I’m happy for you! Woohoo!
Thanks. I’ve really been bummed about the administrative nightmare it had become.
ehhh i don’t like thinking that way…i know i’ll be glad when i get ye olde degree (next year, fingers crossed) but the thought of the fifty thousand dollars it took… yikes
(Future) congrats! And yeah: I love paying our teachers, but at the college level, I wonder how much of what we pay actually gets to them anyway.
With so many people defaulting right now, it is a great time to renegotiate terms. I’m glad things are looking up!
That’s the crazy part: I wasn’t at risk of default at all. I was “overpaying” by approx 50% every month for the past four months because the statements were wrong each month.
I think I almost could have done most of those things if I had back all the money I’ve ever spent on booze.
Now THAT’S depressing.
You’ve drank enough to buy a Bentley? I think they call that “hood rich.”
Going to GW once could break a man’s bank. Going TWICE?! That’s practically financial suicide.
But just think, we have our whole lives to recover from those wonderful college loans and debts….gulp…
That’s the trade off for a good school, I went to a ghetto state school but I’m already debt free!
Ah, student loans. The bane of my existence too. I’ll be honest, I kinda wish you had the money to fly me in. Hell, I kinda wish I had the money to fly me in.
Or you could have paid for all of my drinks for life. I honestly think that’s the best option.
I really wanted to go to Union College and when my parents saw the tuition my dad kindly explained to me that it was the equivalent of buying a brand new BMW every year for four years, uninsuring it and driving it off a cliff. My parents were very supportive of higher education.
This makes me not want to go back to grad school…especially if I could get that llama.
We really are at the exact same spot in life…though I didn’t get to skip a payment this month. I am jealous about that.
I feel the same way about “good news”. Usually it is because I made it good. The news otherwise would have been “meh news” or “blah news”
Congrats.
Oh. It feels good to get change back when buying a Bentley. I know.
Shit! Had I known, I could have picked up the Llama for you.
wow. that’s a bit wince-y. but just look at how edumacated you are as a result!