credit: Patrick Wymore/FOX
I’ve said it once before but it bears repeating: more parents should teach their sons and daughters that “curves” is not a dirty word. No debating that today. It’s a fact; like the fact that peanut butter and jelly are always better when they’re together.¹
But back to curves.
Although it’s been said, many times, many ways — pretty, uh, explicitly by Lil Wayne feat. Young Money and classically by Sir Mix-a-Lot, for instance – for some reason, we don’t seem convinced by the litany of examples of how body image dominates our interactions.
Now, Fox reality television has a new series, More to Love.
Quick breakdown: The Bachelor starring a guy and a fleet of women who Men’s Health and Cosmopolitan magazines have aggressively not featured as cover models.
The good:
This is easy — images on our TV screen that, when coupled with all the others we see, better reflect the American spectrum of body image. Granted, better; not perfectly.
The weird:
It feels a little isolationist — maybe even a little disingenuous — because it’s so showy and maybe even the worst kind of pageantry.
I wonder why that is? Could it be how the president of Fox’s alternative programming described his network’s approach?
“We aren’t going to thin these girls down so they can find love — that’s a backwards message.” Adds [Mike] Darnell, “For six years it’s been skinny-minis and good-looking bachelors, and that’s not what the dating world looks like.”
Yep, that’s it.
“Good-looking bachelors?” Darnell tried; he did. He started strong. But by the end of his statement, he was expressing the exact awkward feeling I had when I first saw the trailer: that this show was going to try and equally fashion a relationship for people it considered separate from our idea of beauty.
For me, it would be much better if, just once, the Bachelor was not a white guy, or chose a black girl, or a Korean girl or the girl with curves, rather than having a network insist that the girl with curves has to be cast entirely separately. It would be a brilliant social statement if the “good-looking bachelor” just chose the girl with curves from among a diverse group. Instead, she’s paired with a more “realistic,” “unattractive” bachelor because, well, that’s the real world.
Maybe, on balance, just seeing the images on our screen is enough, though. Maybe it isn’t absolutely counterproductive to paint the right picture so poorly. As long as there are women with curves on TV, FOX says we should be happy. Is it weird that I’m not?
________
¹I don’t think Jack was singing about PBJs, but “Better Together” is just a good listen. So, go listen.
yeah, when i saw a commercial for that show i thought “oh, a show that was made to poke fun of overweight women, awesome”
why are they segregated because of their looks?
can’t they have a bachelor show where the…uh…contestants are all doctors or something – and who cares what they look like?
it just doesn’t seem right.
I agree. The whole problem is that these finding love shows are so heavily skewed towards an impression of attractiveness.
You point out an interesting distinction around expectations.
Honestly, I’ve never expected Fox to do something for the greater good so this doesn’t surprise me.
Yeah. I stopped letting Fox be my moral compass after Temptaion Island.
I absolutely hate this concept. I haven’t watched it, but from the promos I can tell it’s just going to be a bunch of fat women crying front of a camera about how life is sooooooo hard being fat.
The other part that bugs me is that they know this certain bachelor will go for those girls (obviously they have screened him and figured out that he’s either willing to take one for the team, or actually likes women that look like that), but what the hell makes the producers think that they’ll be attracted to him. Sorry, but yuck.
So true. Why just assume they want him? Maybe they do. But it’s ridiculous to suggest that they’re somehow just naturally made for each other because of weight/size.
Maxie: You are right- Fox had to get a guy in the same”cute-atgory” as them so it wouldn’t be a total WTF coupling, but it’s that school of thought that really knocks down my own self esteem- the thought that girls aren’t going to like me because I’m not totally hot.
Right: the guy is insulted, too. The show is a sweeping failure of execution.
I don’t like it.
Me, neither. It seems pretty degrading.
This reminds me of that show “Less than Perfect” a few years back. The woman, in actuality, was a size 8. A size fucking 8 and she is still less than? Sigh.
Oh for christ’s sake. An 8?
But you see this is Fox and Fox is just pure evil.
Once you understand this concept then you know why this show comes close to being as moronic as Bush’s presidency.
Also reeses pieces wishes to disagree with you on the whole peanut butter and jelly concept.
I’m gonna admit something weird: I’ve never, ever, had a Reese’s.
I support 100% what Maxie said! Who are they trying to fool?
Hopefully, not us, because we’re not fooled; at all.
I think that they are heading toward the right direction… however they missed the mark.
The title. Really? “More to love?” That is a bunch of bullshit.
Furthermore, these reality shows about finding love… as much as I love to watch them like I do a car accident on the side of the freeway … are unrealistic. From the body image issue all the way down to the love part.
How do you “fall in love” with someone after a couple of 10 minute 1:1′s?
How do you grow feelings for someone when they are locking lips with another person… right in front of your face?
That’s right, you don’t.
There is the ONE example of Trista and Ryan out of all of these Daisy for the Rock of Bachelor Love shows (that I know of anyway) that have really worked out.
Anomaly. Exception to the rule. And, if you have ever seen “He’s Just Not That Into You”… you should already know that we are RARELY if EVER the exceptions to the rule.
/$.02
Right? They watch the bachelor/ette suck the face (and other stuff) of another competitor, and then they look into the camera and start talking about how important trust is.
I agree that it might not be 100% counterproductive, but it’s certainly not a genius idea. First of all, they’re offering it up like it’s totally ground breaking and they’re a great network having the guts to do it. Second, the commercial was full of things like, “this is what REAL women look like” and “this is what NORMAL women look like,” like real, normal women don’t come in all varieties. Third, all the smart things everyone else has already said.
That’s such a good point. They shouldn’t get any credit for having “the guts” to do it.
This show just feels so…. unrespectful
Exactly. It just feels like an insult.
Personally, I love the skinny bride shows. Because obviously you can’t pledge a lifetime of love and commitment to the one person who is supposed to be there for you though better or worse, unless you are in an acceptable dress size. It sets up such reasonable expectations and really puts the emphasis on the meaning and sanctity of marriage.
So reasonable. I’ve always known that I had no shot at getting married until my pecs rippled at a male underwear model level.
Love comes in all shapes and sizes. Infact I know more “larger people” who are happier than “skinny people”. (I hope that doesnt sound offensive)
I don’t think so. I know what you mean. A lot of us who don’t fit into the stupid categories are freer to just be happy.
‘REALITY’ SHOWS SUCK!
They are just one more way TV networks rip us off with this trashy crap.
Anybody remember the good ol days when TV had writers and actors?
Sheesh.
It’s Fox.
Nuff said.
as a fat girl i resent this show!
I’m with Lilu on this. Best to stay away in light of that fact.
Wow, this is pretty crazy. “Let’s try to make them feel like we’re not excluding them by giving them a SEPARATE show.” Makes [NO] sense to me.
Putting larger people on TV is FOX’s idea of “diversity,” apparently.
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The worst part, as Maxie said, is that the producers know Luke likes big girls, so he’s got a whole gaggle of women to choose from. But who says he’s their type? As soon as they find ONE guy who says he won’t let her body distract from her personality, a lot of these women have said things like, “This is my last chance at love” or even “This is my only chance at love.” Are bigger women forcing ourselves to lower our personal standards so much that we’ll prep ourselves to fall in love with the first man who comes along who doesn’t mind our body type? No wonder so many of these women cried throughout the show.
Hmmm… I thought about watching this show, but passed. I think it would be a cool idea to have a dating/relationship show (on a SMART network/cable station) about ethnic or religious minorities (almost 30% of the US).
How about a show w/ Muslims? You could have secular ones (like me), immigrants, grad students, modest ladies who wear hijab, etc. The diversity will be built in (b/c Muslims come from MANY ethnic groups).
Welcome! I think having different groups is a start. But I still think it would be better if each show offered a range of diverse faces.