Beyoncé,
What I’m about to say might hurt.
I’m more of a Kelly Rowland kind of guy. Actually, I’ve liked Kelly more since you were in Destiny’s Child and there were four of you. I feel confident that this shouldn’t crush your ego since I’m completely irrelevant, but I figured I should just get that out there.
The point…
If you miss being in Destiny’s Child, just say so. I am tired of watching you live your regret of going solo.
Let me explain.
Exhibit #1: Single Ladies
Exhibit #2: Sweet Dreams
Exhibit #3: Diva
Exhibit #4: Green Light
Exhibit #5: Ego (Remix)
Notice anything familiar? There’s clearly a pattern here. I think you have separation anxiety. You left a group in which you were always featured standing/dancing/singing between two other women, so that you could always be featured standing/dancing/singing between two other women.
I don’t get it.
Hell, Diana Ross doesn’t get it, and she understood when you guys first copied The Supremes years ago.
Actually, maybe you don’t regret going solo. Maybe you love it. Maybe you felt the others were dragging you down and you being flanked in the videos you’ve released lately by two essentially nameless ladies is your way of telling Kelly Rowland and Michelle Williams, “It’s not me. It’s you.”
Classy.
Either way, you’re talented. I get it. Congratulations. But I can’t take one more video that looks exactly the same as 5 of the last several videos from you. You’re the self-proclaimed heroine of R&B right now — allegedly just overflowing with cutting edge tracks and visual ideas — and yet the finished product so often looks like it’s been done before.
I know your coattails are awesome, but at this pace, you’re going to ride your own coattails into the ground. Change it up. Come up with a new formula. Do something different. Because me? Bored.
Irrelevantly,
f.B
P.S. Kelly is still cuter.
She is so painfully dull in interview–completely devoid of any personality. That is my issue with her.
Haven’t seen many of her interviews. But I do wonder if she’s ever just not “on,” and able to seem like a person.
And she must stop letting her mother dress her. That is all.
Does that still happen? Her mom is still the head stylist? Business isn’t made to be a long-term family affair.
I’ll admit it – I still kind of like Beyonce. But you’re right – it’s pretty much all the same ol’ same ol’.
Oh, I don’t dislike her. Totally respect the status and a bunch of the songs are catchier than seems imaginable. But it’s getting weirdly formulaic.
Although I dont agree that Kelly is hotter than Beyonce, I do hate Beyonce.
Mainly because her songs are awful. Halo? If I could go through a whole day without hearing that song, I would be a happy man.
I’ve only heard it twice. At least the video for that looks different than the others.
I just like her shows and all the effects you know. But any songs by Beyonce by n ow pretty much annoyed me. Staring when she released that sasha fierce album.
Yeah: she’s obviously a superstar. But superstars don’t repeat themes in videos that aggressively; do they?
kelly IS WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY hotter
You and I are like *this*.
I don’t really care for her, or her music, or her ego. That being said; I might consider loosing a digit for that body.
The body is ridiculous. Absolutely no denying that.
i am so over beyonce. i’ve been over beyonce for about 5 years. in addition to the videos, hasn’t she made basically the same song for the past 5 years too? i wouldn’t actually know, because i kind of involuntarily tune her out now every time i hear her.
Right. It’s getting repetitive. Even the dancing in the videos looks so similar.
Have you learned nothing from the New Coke debacle?
I know: I’m a slow learner.
“you being flanked in the videos you’ve released lately by two essentially nameless ladies is your way of telling Kelly Rowland and Michelle Williams, “It’s not me. It’s you.”
DING DING DING DING!!!! Bang on!
(ps- if I have to hear the fucking word bootylicious one more time I’m gonna stick my foot up someone’s.)
pps- Can I say “fucking” on your blog?
Of course you can say “fucking.” See? And we have Stevie Nicks to thank for “bootylicious.”
You have clearly given this a lot of thought.
All you need is one of her songs and BAM! you’ve pretty much heard it all.
Haha. I have. I’ve been talking to Miss Bianca about it for weeks now, every time I see one of her videos.
hahahaha basically, funniest thing I’ve ever read…..though, i’m still a beyonce girl? Shes jsut so fucking full out, I can’t help myself.
Don’t stop loving her. R&B and pop need her. Just send her some fan mail asking her to try a new dance or something.
Kelly over Beyonce? Really??
Well, I wouldn’t kick Kelly out of bed but I still say Beyonce wins.
Yep. Kelly. Beyonce has an incredible body, but she’s comes off so… produced. Not fake; just like it takes a lot of work.
I haven’t paid any attention to Beyonce in years, but I did enjoy the Single Ladies video, even if the song annoys me. And, seriously, how does she get away with wearing a leotard and somehow that’s okay with all of us?
Thank. You. The leotard! It’s EVERYwhere in her videos.
I was always about Michelle.
But I respect the hell out of B for the millions of hours she logs at the gym.
Me, too. So if you’re reading this, Beyonce: it’s constructive criticism, not hate.
I just really like Beyonce’s legs/ass region.
As in, If I could have an ass region … ANY ass region in the history of ass regions … it would be hers.
Also, I really like the Single Ladies SNL spoof.
That region is an easy top 5 in the industry. And that spoof is one of my favorites.
My DSi came with Rhythm Heaven, and I refuse to play it, just because I hate Beyonce that much.
Maturity level: 5 year old.
Don’t care.
And you shouldn’t. You gotta draw a line sometimes.
I love B, but if she puts out one more single with a black and white video I’m going to scream. It’s like she got a deal on the post-production or something and just shot them all in a six-hour period.
Also, I know I overanalyze EVERYTHING, but this post is still one of the best things I’ve read re: Beyonce and right-wing dogma:
http://postbourgie.com/2008/10/27/if-you-liked-it-then-you-shoulda-put-a-ring-on-it-beyonce-and-socially-conservative-ideology/
From another person who over-analyzes EVERYTHING, I’m actually totally on board with a lot of that post. I remember thinking exactly that about “Upgrade You.” Some of the other translations were a stretch, and I think one was even the opposite of a reasonable interp, but on “Upgrade You” Beyonce couldn’t more clearly be saying, “Let me be your support staff.” And what’s funny is that when Jay mentions her, which is rare, it’s not really flattering. Remember “Got the hottest chick in the game wearing my chain?”
Taking a quick look- I think Kelly is CUTER but Beyonce is HOTTER.
Also you are right about her past work- it’s all the same, and it’s funny she sings about being single and stuff when she clearly is with a pretty awesome guy.
You’re a smart man. That’s a perfect and fair breakdown.
And seriously: being married to Jay-Z isn’t exactly like being your average single lady.
Kelly > Beyonce.
Always has, always will.
That.. is the truth. Unless Kelly does something drastic to her face.
I know so little about this debate as I broke-up with R&B around the time that Destiny’s Child dropped on the scene. But I do have a very real question for you…
How relevant are music videos in 2009?
Relevant as art? Fading. Relevance as marketing tools and platforms? Growing steadily.
I honestly cannot stand Beyonce. In fact her name bugs me.
I don’t actually mind her. I just don’t understand the sameness. Switch it up a little, you know?
lol i love it.
Sweet. Thanks.
It amazes me that everybody buys into media hype about people like this.
Beyonce’ and whoever the other hotty are, they certainly are important to themselves.
What happens when they have 50 year old flabby asses?
Well, Beyonce can actually sing. So the voice might last. I just think she needs a new video campaign.
I have SO many issues with Destiny’s Child (you can’t ask me to pay your “Bills, Bills, Bills” then call yourself “Independent Women”!!!) that this one just seems like the icing on the cake. A cake that I hate & don’t ever want to freaking eat. But that I maybe want to smash into Beyonce’s face.
I used to really like Beyonce, but lately her songs have annoyed me… especially Halo… oh gosh they wouldnt STOP playing it on the radio, I think at some point it was playing on every station at the same time… can we say AHHHHH!!! yikes.
All of a sudden, I’ve seen the Halo video approximately 15 times in the last few days. I’m Halo’d out.
I loved Destiny’s Child. Beyonce? Meh… she’s got about one good song in every CD she releases. My husband, however is in love with her.
I like the music; most of it. But at some point it’s like rappers who sell platinum albums and still pretend they’re hustling. Beyonce: you’re not a single lady anymore. You’re married.
I’m always rooting for Kelly to make it big. But she never seems to be able to achieve what B has.
And as much as I agree with you, I adore those songs despite her need to be flanked by at least two other women at all times.