Where is my Launchpad
where is my Darkwing Duck
where are Timon and Pumbaa
where have all the cartoons gone?
Where are my Gummi Bears
where is my Kit Cloudkicker
where is my Uncle Scrooge
where have all the cartoons gone?¹
After an award-winning Saturday night, Miss Bianca and I started our Sunday recovery at Wendy’s… around 4pm. Our local Wendy’s has televisions they tune to some Wendy’s-supported channel that previews upcoming movies and features current TV shows. Most of the movies and shows are targeted at kids. “Targeted” fits so well because it makes me think of weapons and I imagine watching any of the shows pushed on kids these days is about as fun as getting shot.
Where have all the cartoons gone? We had so many iconic shows as kids. The list is too long: G.I. Joe, ThunderCats, He-Man, DuckTales, Chip ‘n Dale’s Rescue Rangers, TaleSpin, The Smurfs, Rugrats, The Ren & Stimpy Show, Doug, David the Gnome, Muppet Babies, Animaniacs…
They don’t even have The Disney Afternoon, anymore. They, don’t even have, The Disney, Afternoon, anymore.
No wonder our neighborhood kids are firing bottle rockets into traffic, during the day, on July 1st.² I went to ABC’s site, hoping to find that there was some awesome cartoon line-up I’ve just been missing. Nope. Not only could I find no line-up at all in the after-school block, but this is what I found for the what-used-to-be-sacred Saturday morning spot:
The Emperor’s New School
The Replacements [isn't this a movie with Keanu Reeves? they give the kids Keanu Reeves?!]
That’s So Raven
That’s So Raven [again?!]
Hannah Montana
The Suite Life of Zack & Cody
Power Rangers: RPM
Power Rangers: RPM [they repeat two shows in one 4hr block?!]
I know I have no control over any of this… travesty. I’m like George Costanza: I have no hand. So no open letters to industry execs — unless you’re reading and in that case: put the cartoons back where you found them — and no petitions or any of that actually-do-something-about-it way of living. All that’s here today is some good old fashioned complaining. Congratulations, cartoon-broadcasting channels of the world. You have all won f.B’s Worst in Industry Award.
_________
¹ Special thanks to Paula Cole for not knowing I appropriated her “Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?” for my own purposes.
² After writing this sentence, I realized how much I felt like Dennis the Menace’s neighbor, Mr. Wilson, but I don’t care. Damn kids.
The Replacements is a great movie, dude. Aretha Franklin FTW.
I didn’t expect to like it at all. But I still don’t know why there’s a cartoon based on it.
I know what Wendy’s you went to…glad you are alive.
I wasn’t a huge cartoom fan, but I did enjot the Tennage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Michaelangelo was my boo.
Haha. Your boo? Raphael a little too sure of himself?
I think the way we know weekend cartoons and after school shows has changed. Now what we have is a smaller number of shots aimed to advance the careers is Disney’s celebrity prospects or cartoons designed to sell you stuff in Toy Stores.
Yeah. Maybe it’s a marketing thing. But that actually would mean it’s even worse than I thought.
Oh yes I miss all the good old shows, love animaniac and even uncle scrooge and darkwing duck. Shows these days, like dora the explorer, make me wanna puke.
I know. Hell, they could just bring back the classics. That would be so much better than what they’ve got on now.
I miss every one of those cartoon characters you listed.
I don’t often feel old, but just thinking about Dora the Explorer makes me feel ancient.
TV sucks all around. We grew up with the most awesome cartoons and shows around and now they have some chick called Miley Cyrus prancing around the widescreen tube?
Ick, no thank you.
Give me back some of that Tailspin and Duck Tales please!
Guess what? I just ordered new Disney movies today; like volume one of TaleSpin.
Our generation was so spoiled for good children’s programming! But now all kids have are lame-ass Jonas Bros, Twilight and Hilary Duff and countless forgettable computer animation shows!
I blame the Telly Tubbies for starting this festival of mediocrity! LOL
The computer animation shows are just creepy. Creepy. And I like the idea of blaming the Tubbies.
I spent my weekend watching Suite Life, Hannah Montana, iCarly, and Wizards of Waverly Place…
I’m 21 and that’s how I spend my weekend… wow… I now feel really pathetic.
Oh. It’s okay. There just aren’t any other TV options. Especially on holiday weekends.
Now all the good cartoons are for adults in primetime. We clearly just have better taste.
Family Guy. Yes.
You need the cartoon network. The Jetsons, The Sumurfs, Tom and Jerry are all out there in TV land just waiting for you.
Tom and Jerry, too? I’m off to check the listings.
The first thing I noticed in that picture was the Gummi Bears. God, I loved that show. And all the theme songs that went along with them…well, they’re now all stuck in my head.
*dashing and daring courageous and caring…*
Gummiberry juice sounds like something we should spike.
in my open letter i would say they need to replay all the REALLY old cartoons like Mighty Mouse, these kids won’t know what hit ‘em, it will be totally new, never-heard-of before entertainment!
and our poor mutt was shuddering in fear starting wednesday afternoon with all the fireworks in our ‘hood.
MIGHTY MOUSE!!
But, yeah: mr. dog was a trembly mess.
Next you’ll be telling me there’s no more TGIF!
I refuse to google it just in case there isn’t… twould break my heart.
I.. I won’t say anything about TGIF.
I hated looney tunes as a kid- that stupid stuttering bald guy and the annoying rabbit and spitting cat- I was all about kimba the white lion & rin tin.
I know, it explains a lot doesn’t it?
Haha. The spitting cat. I wonder if Sylvester had a problem.
Duck Tales FTW!
Might solve a mystery, or rewrite history…
i get so angry when i look at what kids are supposed to be happy with these days. PSH. you call these CARTOONS? these are CRAP! i do it.. uh.. for the children..?
Oh, yeah? You do it for the children?
I have to admit that cartoons have gone down hill. However, my husband has been turning them on for our son (who is just a year and has no interest in them) and sits and watches them himself.
That’s what we were worried about — that they had actually gone down hill, not just that we weren’t aware of the new, great ones.
haha! this post gave me a serious case of the giggles at work…everyone kept looking at me. lol! oh the days of the smurfs, transformers, inspector gadget and my little ponies have been gone for a while. I remember watching ABC family’s saturday cartoon lineup as a kid. nope nada.
In response to your comment: “Whatever is in that second picture: want.”
In the second picture is a meatball burger, topped with mozzarella cheese, caramelized onions, sliced avocado and a secret dressing. The potato salad has red potatoes, pancetta, and a cilantro mayonnaise dressing. We don’t mess around on the west coast when it comes to food. If you ever decide to visit Portland Oregon, I’ll definitely cook some up for you.
That meatball burger looked so, so, so good. And I will definitely take you up on that. I’ve only been to Portland once, years ago, and I had no idea I was missing that.
I was all about thundercats.
Lion-O? A legend.
Forgive me a Bill Cosby moment, but the kids today don’t even know what the jazz is! I mean, uh, cartoons. I used to love TMNT, The Racoons, Doug and Tiny Toons. It’s kind of like how you almost never see cartoon movies anymore. Like, I love me some Pixar, but seriously…
Pixar is great. But there’s a Pixar movie only every several months.
I don’t know enough to call myself a cartoon lover, but I did come home every afternoon to watch hours of cartoons, even though we weren’t supposed to watch tv at all.
I know. We would’ve been in so much trouble if they realized how much TV we watched on school nights.
I was actually just wondering not too long ago if kids today even know who Bugs Bunny or Daffy Duck are.
Oh, and I totally caught the Paula Cole song. I wonder if that’s in my iTunes anymore…
I loved Bugs Bunny. I may, or may not, own a large, plush Bugs Bunny.
you bring up a very valid point.
now all the cartoons need 3D glasses and not just the movies. it’s all gimmicky now.
also, duck tales, woooooo-hhhhhhhhooooooooo
We used 3D glasses to see Up. It was cool. But added nothing.
And a man without hand is no man at all.
Seriously, I agree.
No man at all. Seinfeld connections FTW.
Thanks for stopping by my site. Please feel free to stop back anytime, I’ll leave the light on for you!
Haha. Thanks. You, too.
Don’t feel too bad. Paula appropriated “Where have all the flowers gone?” from Peter, Paul & Mary.
I miss cartoons, too. I remember tuning in to watch “The Wonderful World of Disney” every single week in hopes of seeing a cartoon but nine times out of ten it was something non-cartoon, and lame, like Davy Crockett. Feh.
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