If you don’t get it, you don’t get it. There are a lot of people who don’t and I understand that.
But, for many of us, losing Michael Jackson is heartbreaking.
It’s not that I don’t care about the widely-believed rumors. I did and I do believe that there was much more to those rumors than an acquittal in 2005 could ever address. But, for today, I respectfully request that we don’t rehash that. As flawed as he so undeniably was, to pretend that that denies how great he was is myopic.
For me, the tragedy is in the incompleteness of his circle. I watched and I waited, for years now, hoping he’d turn it all around. I just knew there’d be a moment when he’d become able to finally find some balance. I knew it until I cried when I watched his body transferred from a helicopter to a coroner’s van. At a time when I’m really in need of examples of people transcending trial — even tribulation they may have contributed to themselves — the fact that he was forever stuck, running at rest in stationary motion, is defeating. I wonder if he was ever happy.
How do I describe the weight of his example? “Billie Jean” was the first video by a black artist on MTV. He and his brothers broke barriers at times some of our parents we’re just being let into integrated schools. Many of us were left out of the worship of Elvis and The Beatles. Michael was a conversation we were invited to be a part of. I don’t know how to explain how much that means to people who expected to be ignored.
It just feels so incomplete this way. I wanted another chapter.
But if we’re to celebrate rather than mourn…
I’m with you, of course. And man do I love the outfit he wears in that video. Makes me smile.
Me, too. I had to change videos, thought, since Rock With You was disabled.
I said to a couple of people today…and I’ll say it here. The man that he became may have been ‘disgusting’ and no, I don’t condone any of the things he did but the man was a brother, a son and a father. The man, in his day, gave us incredible music and shaped many of our lives. One of my first memories is my cousin dancing to his music videos. It was a family bonding for us.
And no matter what, we have to respect death. No matter how I might feel, I don’t disrespect death and while I may not mourn somebody, I do not speak ill of them on the day that they died…it was just how I was raised.
While I respect that people have their opinions, I’ve seen some things that made me feel disgusted…because yes, the man was a child molester but that means he was also a very very sick man…it doesn’t excuse what he may have done but it shouldn’t shape our opinion of him on the day that he died.
His music has, and will always, be a part of my life. It is just a fact and one that I am proud of because it’s the same as the ending of a marriage. You don’t complete disregard the good memories simply because the end was a shitty ride.
I’ve been back and edited this reply a bunch of times now.
There are just so many stories wrapped up in this that I’m hesitant to discuss them as uninformed as I am; the stories about the abuse that he endured, the stories about the abuse he committed, the lives of the children involved (his own and the children of others)…
We have to look at his life on balance. And the music and the charity and the stature are too significant to ignore.
Exactly.
I wasn’t there…I don’t know about the accusations and the accuracy of them…I’m not the person to judge.
None of us were. It doesn’t mean we have to be willfully blind. It just also means we don’t have to deny the fallibility of assumptions.
His music made me smile and dance at the same time. He was such a big part of my childhood, it’s just heartbreaking. Hope he’s in a better place.
Such a big part of my childhood, too. He was what we danced to at family reunions. His dances were the ones I wanted to copy.
I am really … really going to miss him. I too am heart broken.
I get it. <3 Great blog. (and now I cant stop crying.)
I really thought that at some point the tragedy would become the past. But it never did.
And leave it to assholes to taint someone beautiful with it over and over and over.
The name-calling just spiraled out of control years ago.
[...] refuse to write a post about Michael Jackson. If you want, you can read my comments on f.B and Wicked’s blogs…but I will say this. Black or White was one of the defining songs [...]
Oh yea.. a friend messaged saying that he died and I thought it was prolly a joke! But the news channels confirmed it.. and all I could do was say a little prayer for him.. and to wish that he finally finds the happiness that had been so elusive in his life.. atleast in the last couple of years!
He will truly be missed.. and so will his music!
RIP
We were doing a walk-through at this apartment we were looking at (we’re moving) and someone just mentioned it in the elevator.
I wish I could state things as well as you do. But this is exactly how I feel.
I just can’t wrap my brain around it.
It just doesn’t compute. It just doesn’t fit.
I heard last night he died and couldn’t believe it! He was only 50-years-old! His impact on people from all walks of life and his talent were undeniable!
Only 50. Way too soon.
One the most tragic aspects of the MJ story is that as great as he was, he could have been even better. A better entertainer, a better humanitarian. He had talents and opportunities that aren’t available to the rest of us. But personal demons and (presumably) less-than-nurturing guardians and advisors squandered everything. There was a very different path there that just wasn’t followed…
Yes: he could’ve been better, personally and professionally. The decisions he did and didn’t make personally are the hardest to understand. But it’s also hard to accept that no one in his family couldn’t get through to him.
I’m completely with you, I think he had an impact on everyone’s life in one way or another. He’s just THAT good. I am still in shock, but know that the music is still here and that’s what will keep him alive forever.
The music will be there forever. It’s just such a shame that it must — and it must — always be tied to the example he presented.
Dude I still cant even believe it.
I know. It’s not like the chaos with Tupac when people insisted for years that he was still alive. I genuinely haven’t accepted this yet.
I hear you. The incompleteness is amazing. I too, so badly wanted for him to get it together. Thriller was the first album I ever bought. I won’t forget that moment. I was so excited.
So wanted him to figure it out. And I thought there was so much time left for him to do so.
While others remember him more about his eccentric lifestyle as of late- you remember him for what he really needs to be remembered, a great musical artists.
Because if he wasn’t a great musical artist, we wouldn’t of cared of what he did afterwards or the fact he died last night.
A lot of people wonder if his greatness is being used as an excuse; that it means overlooking or ignoring the errors. It doesn’t. It’s just remembering that he gave too much to remember him as evil.
[...] I think the net has millions of words already out there on the flawed genius Jackson and his passing last night. I will add nothing but here is a very good brief post that does cover the subject well. [...]
I wonder if sudden and unexpected deaths may be the clear and blatant signal to the rest of us that there is a place we go to from here.
Nothing else about it makes sense does it?
I don’t know what the message is. But you’re right: little about it makes sense.
I just did my own post and I think you and I share a very similar sentiment. For whatever happened in the past, this circle was definitely flawed and unfinished and it’s always sad to see that.
It’s hard to accept that in 45 years, from the outside, there didn’t seem to be any sense that it would all be okay.
As someone who doesn’t really get it, but still enjoyed the music, I feel it. If nothing else, it was an interesting life cut short. At least the music will live on.
It’s weird. I’m not a celebrity-fan. I’m not fazed by any of that. I’m in awe of and saddened by the story.
Agreed on all counts; he was a larger-than-life figure who brought moments of light to a great many people.
There can be no doubt that he also had some deep personal problems, and that other people were illegally/immorally pulled into those… but it was obvious he had made an effort to put the worst behind him, and he was never allowed to fully exorcise those demons.
Here’s hoping that the good lives on in people’s minds longer than the bad.
Right. I hope the same.
Perfection. My complete sentiments exactly.
Thanks. And welcome.
Years of working with people that were dying has left me very cynical and detached. I am the guy that does not get it at all. I don’t and won’t, as like you, my life experience has been very different than the rest of the world. The thing I don’t get is the emotional investment that people have with celebrities. I didn’t get it when Kurt Cobain and Bradley Nowell died, nor do I understand now.
I do plan on exploring this with a post on Monday., so stay tuned.
I didn’t get the Kurt or Bradley thing, either. I didn’t start to like their music until after their deaths. But with Michael, it’s not his celebrity that I was attached to, or even the music itself, that makes this so tough. It’s the idea that despite the celebrity, there was a real person who couldn’t get real life to work out the way it does for most of us. It would be tragic if it was any of us. But the fact that he had so much, gave so much and was so much — there’s even a civil rights aspect to this — means that his inability to reconcile it all is a shame.
It reminds me of someone very close to me — not a celebrity, not famous — who is going through quite a struggle. I strongly believe this person will overcome it and be better for it. But, if the worst possible (unimaginable) scenario happened, I would be crushed by not seeing the person turn it all around. That sense of accomplishment is deserved by everyone. That’s why the Michael thing is painful; it’s about a basic human experience.
I remember having a crush on a guy in 8th grade because he dressed like Micheal Jackson. He had the jacket with the zippers and white socks and the white glove and was a pretty good breakdancer. LOL Did the moonwalk damned good too.
Then for a while there was a time when it wasn’t “cool” to like Michael. But everyone still did and just didn’t tell each other about it, I’m sure. I remember thinking, “For someone who doesn’t like Micheal, you sure know all his songs!” hahahah.. In the meantime, my side of the “wall” in the small bedroom I shared with my sister was COVERED in Micheal Jackson posters. I think I even have a picture of me floating around the house in front of all my posters. I’ll have to dig it out.
Michael had a rough childhood as a kid and I think he never quite really “grew up” and was a kid at heart. And mentally. He related more with kids than grown people and I think while he was maybe a little innapropriate in his relationships with them (sleepovers, sleeping in the same bed, etc) I can honestly say that I don’t believe he “molested” them. I just don’t think he had enough common sense to realize that was innappropriate behavior for a grown man.
He had the heart and soul of a child which is why he was so easily exploited by those around him ready for a handout and a quick buck.
Even all his legal problems have never been able to take away from his musical legacy. Musicians emmulate him to this day and probably will from years to come.
“He had the heart and soul of a child which is why he was so easily exploited by those around him ready for a handout and a quick buck.”
I think that is so much of what happened. He wasn’t able to draw boundaries and no one ever forced him to do so. He wanted to create an island — Neverland Ranch — where he could get away from the rules we all live by, because some of them are just absurd. But some of them actually make really good sense for really good reasons. And I don’t think he ever understood the difference.
I’m always going to be a fan of his music, regardless of how I feel about him personally (and even I don’t know that). No one should ever deny how iconic he was – the things he did for music.
It’s weird because someone said something on a blog or twitter “Now I know how my dad felt when Elvis died”. It’s amazingly how strikingly similar their deaths are – not exact of course.
It’s sad because it seemed like he was returning to some “normalcy” with this tour and such and maybe, just maybe, he might be able to start removing the scarlet letter he has been wearing for years.
Truly sad and tragic that it had to end this way. RIP MJ. Your legacy (however tarnished) will live on forever.
Though I expected free verse friday, this was definitely a needed post.
Reminds me of how a lot of our heroes are dying — and how we desperately need another age of heroes.
I’m so with you. I’ve asked that a lot: where is the next generation of heroes?
As usual, the right words for an occurrence that feels very wrong. You have a knack.
Thanks; genuinely.
Losing michael was terrible and yes he was the man at some point…however I’m sad that so much attention has been placed on him and everyone has failed to notice that two other great figures died yesterday as well. …also, I’m not so sure he really died of just a heart attack, I think theres so much more to the story, perhaps someday we’ll know the truth.
You are very right. Ed and Farrah were really, really important figures. It was a really rough week.
There is a definite void in the world… but no one can deny that his legacy will live on for many, MANY generations to come.
That medley that night at Bourbon is so huge for me now.
A really terrible thing. I was such a fan back in the ’90s and didn’t pay that much attention to what he did in the last decade, until the recent concert announcements. I hoped he’d make a great comeback and more of that great music. Whatever the cause of his death might have been, this was the worst timing ever.
Meanwhile, I’m rediscovering his music, and some songs I had never heard before.
I was hoping for the comeback, too. It seemed just around the corner.
I choose to remember his brilliant work, I think all people should too.
It’s hard not to remember everything. I’m not going to try not to forget some things. I want to remember his entire example, his entire presence.
I’ve never owned or listened to any of MJ’s music all that much, but last night when I got home I was flipping through the channels on TV and came across an old movie about him and the Jackson Five. I never would have watched it otherwise, but I sat down and found myself watching it until the end. I’m glad I did.
He was absolutely amazing.
[...] down a few notches, but things need to be said. The other day I was reading an awesome post by Franco Beans about the Michael Jackson death and the world-wide mourning process. F.B. said, “If you [...]