Last Thursday, thanks to a tweet by the Wicked Witch of the Web, I learned that Hulu might start charging.
(I’ll wait for your blood pressure to drop to normal levels.)
In the ensuing fallout, upset that cable TV would find it easier to compete, I twelled¹:
And like Ken Jeong in The Hangover – except without any of the inherent humor, awesomeness and super-awesomeness — a Comcast rep leapt out of the shadows and into the conversation:
I paused and then politely responded:
He was persistent, though, and asked that I email him. I did not. There’s nothing to say. The best possible scenario would be that he’d get someone to come check out why the wireless signal is so spotty or why the DVR system is so buggy. He might be able to fix something tangible. But what I’m sure he can’t do is have someone explain to me why it takes a week to schedule appointments or why people would insist, over the phone, that I have a TV signal when I, standing directly in front of my TV with full eyesight and a trivial amount of idiocy, inform them there’s no picture. He wouldn’t be able to fix the intangibles: the service aspect.
I thought about emailing ComcastBill anyway, though, because on Sunday I saw something on TV that seemed tangible enough to repair.
Bored out of my mind and too sore from Saturday’s run to grab a DVD from across the room, I actually resorted to Comcast’s Music Choice on demand.
[Use this space here: _____ to consider my failures as a human being.]
There was a video playlist section that included something to the effect of “Rihanna vs. Chris Brown.” The promotional voice-over told me I’d “heard of the controversy” but now it was time to see the best they had to offer.
I’m sorry. The “controversy?” I heard about the part where he (allegedly) beat her face in. I didn’t hear the part where anyone on either side said he didn’t do it or about the seminar that suggested (alleged) domestic violence was a prime marketing tool for music videos. I must have missed the part about the controversy.
If I’d known we could demand content like that, I would’ve asked for a special playlist honoring the life choices of Phil Spector. Ooh: or a montage revealing Tom Cruise’s best brainwashing techniques used on Katie Holmes. I’d definitely watch that second one. The possibilities are endless.
_____
¹Tweeted + yelled = twelled. No? Eh. Too late.
If you everdecide to switch to Direct TV (ITS AWESOME) you can let me refer you and we both get 100 bucks. I dont know how that works, but it’s pretty awesome.
I ditched comcast a few months ago and never looked back.
We should get that paper.
You know it sounds like ever since that repairman fiasco Comcast has been all about social media outreach- impressed by their outreach on Twitter?
Yeah, I guess I appreciate the integration. I guess.
Why do I always miss the crazy tweets?
We have DirectTV in my new house…My parents have Cox in VA…Cable blows.
Period.
I guess if we could put the satellite somewhere inconspicuously…
Hulu? What’s that again?
Oh yeah, it’s that internet thing that isn’t accessible outside the US.
*sigh*
Now you’ll just be like the rest of the world.
Stop the presses. No Hulu outside the US? That’s just wrong.
Dude, brighthouse cable, same issues. But seriously, promoting domestic violence? Must we not forget Chris Rock so soon, “I can’t hit a bitch, but I will shake the shit out of her!” So people just don’t pay attention.
They really just don’t pay attention.
I don’t tweet so most of this post went entirely over my head. I could not figure out who was @ who and which person was tweeting/taking. I feel pathetic.
Ugh. Sorry about that. It’s not you, it’s me. The name after @ is the person being addressed. So all but one of those messages was something I was sending to someone else.
I would definitely watch the brainwashing techniques. Let me know if that happens.
It just might. Will do.
You did plug the TV *in*, right?
Of course. That’s ridiculous. *sneaks off to go check*
When demanding content, is there an optional beverage selection? I personally would be willing to accept shoddy service if it came with a cold beer or 12.
Oh my god yes. I would sit on hold for hours if they’d send beer through the TV like they sent a chocolate bar through the TV in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
Hulu’s gonna start chargin?!?!
Omg.
I might die.
That’s the rumor. It could be as soon as this fall, apparently.
“trivial amount of idiocy” i like this
also, stick it to the man!
I think they usually assume I’m as dumb as a bag of rocks.
Yeah I think my reply went something like this:
@francobeans ANAL RAPE RAPE RAPE IN MY BUTT ANAL!
That may be slightly more dramatic but whatevs. I haven’t had good luck with satellite either though. They billed me for all sorts of shit I didn’t have so I told them until they fixed it, I wasn’t paying them. My bill was something around $500 last I checked but I haven’t paid it in like, 5 months. At this point it’s the principle.
I think that’s exactly what it was. And don’t let go of your principles. Or your interspecies affairs.
a) the name comcastBill made me think of vampire bill from trueblood. i am brainwashed
b) that is sick to use domestic violence as a marketing tool
I have got to get on this vampire bandwagon. Is it stopping by my house any time soon?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? THERE’S NO CONTROVERSY. HE IS AN ABUSER. SHE IS A SURVIVOR. THEY BOTH NEED HELP. THE END.
Jimminy Christmas.
Now I’m infuriated and tired at work.
When it came on, we just turned and looked at each other. Next, I think we complained about how hot it was outside and how we didn’t want to walk to McDonald’s. But first, we totally were just confused.
twelled…I love it!
Thanks! And welcome to this here blog.
I still don’t really get what Hulu is. But that’s because the ads with Dennis Leary scare the hell out of me.
Also, nice comments re: Rihanna and Chris Brown. You’re right, I’m not sure that I ever really heard much other than him being a monster, etc. It’s so nice to have a fair and unbiased media looking out for us.
The media loves us (just for all the wrong reasons).
Hey! That’s ALLEGED brainwashing, now. But I hear Alex DeLarge gave it two thumbs up.
Alleged. Right. How could I be so presumptuous?
It’s that new big thing: Beat a woman up & get great musical marketing material out of it!
(PS: I have RCN. It, too, is absolutely brutal.)
(PPS: Use SurftheChannel instead of Hulu. It’s the OTHER new big thing.)
RCN sucks, too? Great. Now we’re totally out of options because Verizon is just not an option. And I will take your SurftheChannel rec and run with it.