There comes a time,
when we heed a certain call;
when the world, must come
together, as one.
Today is that time. And we are that world.
I had an idea for a post for today. I really did. But then I found this video and, well, I got sidetracked. After you watch it, we have to decide where we are and we’re going as a people.
I think we’re a more-willing-to-accept-mediocrity people than I’d ever imagined. And since we’ve let Harland Williams appear in dozens of productions after Half Baked and There’s Something About Mary, that’s saying a lot. I’ve always thrown vitriol at the Jonas Brothers like a monkey throws feces at zoogoers who let their kids throw sticks through the bars. But now… Just… just watch.
And that? That is unacceptable. It’s not that he’s in full-body spandex or that he’s in heels. It’s that the whole entire thing had been done before. That is a parody of a parody. Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg did it on SNL months ago, in November. Hell, thousands of random people did it and posted in on YouTube months ago. Even I gussied up, hit “record” and went for it:
I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that “creative genius” isn’t high on the Jonas Brothers’ to-be list. Maybe I’m wrong — maybe — but I can’t imagine there are many diehard Jonas Brothers fans who aren’t children or otherwise descendant from adults who were bamboozled by Donnie and Marie and the Osmonds.
It was like watching the underdeveloped, teat-suckling cast of MadTV replicate a skit In Living Color made famous. Though, I’ve heard the Jonas Brothers don’t actually do much… suckling. Which is cool, which is cool. Truthfully, I’ve always thought that celibacy could allow one to channel all of his/her creative energy into finely-tuned output.
There are three gaping holes in that theory.
NO, I do not think Joe Jonas is kinda cute. Why the hell would you accuse me of such?
Because I know better than to believe your sarcasm. But even you… even you have to admit that was ridiculous.
Oh, my poor, poor eyes.
I should’ve included a warning. I didn’t learn my lesson from the foot fiasco.
I think the baby Jonas is kiiind of cute, maybe because he looks a little Jew-y and that’s my thing. But talent? No, none of them have it. And I don’t see much difference between the video and how Joe Jonas dresses normally. I’d like to borrow his clothes.
Borrow? Jump him. Back-alley-jump him for them and just take them.
The “We are the world” song gives me nightmares.
I have no idea about the Jonas Brothers, but that clip was somewhat disturbing
It it is mean to be such a tease!! I was so exciting about seeing f.B. in spandex and heels and dancing, and then there was nothing…. boooo
Yeah. I have many talents. Walking in heels: not yet mastered. Not that I’m trying, or practicing. Not that there would be anything wrong with — I’ll go now.
That was painful to watch! Jonas Brothers and Miley Cyrus need to be dragged out to the street and shot ASAP!!
Miley, Cyrus. …
I couldn’t watch the whole thing. It hurt.
It did increase my appreciation for genuine entertainment though. Sometimes it takes a few dark nights to remember the sun.
I skipped right to the fB video thinking that you’d recorded such majesticness and… I was BAMBOOZLED!
Dang you!
Haha. Yes, yes you were.
It’s not even good! I mean I’d be all for it if he could DANCE, but it’s fucking horrible. I could do that.
Booooooooooooooooooooooo.
He clearly doesn’t even know the words!
Um.
…
Thanks. Now I have to burn my eyes.
Then how will you find your way to happy hour?
“there are three gaping holes in that theory”
BURN!!!! ahahaaaaa
Burn! Oh, man. Reminds of That 70s Show.
1) Harland Williams is from Toronto. Please do not allow this to reflect poorly on the rest of the city, or its residents.
2) I’m disappointed you didn’t actually youtube that. If Joe Jonas can….
There actually is video footage of me performing something on YouTube. From high school. But I can’t say anymore.
I think celibacy only works in that direction for certain people (namely men). Sorry guys, but it’s true. Watch Seinfeld. And Seinfeld is law.
I loved your comparison of Mad TV and In Living Color. GODDAMN YOUR BLOG ROCKS.
Thank you. The MadTV joke was my favorite part.
I wonder what exactly looking a little Jew-y means? No judgment, just curiosity.
Totally fair.
Oh, I did NOT just LOL.
Not at this: “I can’t imagine there are many diehard Jonas Brothers fans who aren’t children or otherwise descendant from adults who were bamboozled by Donnie and Marie and the Osmonds.”
Or this: ” Though, I’ve heard the Jonas Brothers don’t actually do much… suckling. Which is cool, which is cool. Truthfully, I’ve always thought that celibacy could allow one to channel all of his/her creative energy into finely-tuned output.”
I promise there was no laughter. And that I don’t have a wildly inappropriate crush on Nick Jonas.
Come on, have you SEEN “Paranoid”?! Disney finally owned up to it: He’s a stud.
You still think I’m funny after we met? Awesome. And Nick? That makes this the second “non-confession” of a crush on a Jonas brother in this post. I think that means that if I did a blog giveaway featuring concert tickets, two people would enter.
The SNL version was the definitive version.
And your version? I was bitterly disappointed. You owe me. You owe all of us. I demand satisfaction!
Haha. Everybody wanted to see that. But if that video was ever made.. and released…?
DEARSWEETLORD…… Whyyyyyyy? whyyyyyyyy?? LOL And yet, it’s like a train wreck… you can’t help but wanna see the chaos…
Chaos. Great word for it.
The title of this post reminded me of the movie Bamboozled! Also, I used bamboozled in a sentence yesterday. So awesome.
Reminded me of the movie, too. Or maybe the movie is why I thought of the title…