credit: powerbooktrance
I like words.
The best ones have a great personality. Whether they like it when you bend and twist and mix and match them to suit your needs or instead insist upon never being altered, the ones that have a sense of self stand out.
Or so I thought. Apparently, those responsible for updating the annals of the English language — those at the Global Language Monitor — feel differently.
At this very moment, we are allegedly just 22 days from the one millionth word being accepted into our official lexicon. Exciting, right? The millionth word. Surely, it’ll be something majestic. It has taken us until 2009 to get to one million (i.e., this day doesn’t come around that often). The GLM is going to mark this occasion with something epic.
Or, they’ll mark it with “noob.”
Yes, “noob.” According to the Daily Telegraph, one of the frontrunners for the millionth word is “noob.” And do you know what its competition is? ”Defollow” and “defriend.”
For the love of god: Facebook slang could be the millionth word in our language.
Who cares? I mean, “bling” became an official dictionary entry years ago. So, no big deal, right? I’ve got a bunch of words it would be pretty amazing to see move past the html of Urban Dictionary and make the official cut; words like “netherstick” and “felony-ig’nant.”
But we could at least pretend like the one millionth word should be celebratory. I don’t really want history to look back and say that the two most memorable contributions our generation made to the English language were “bling” and “noob.” That would be like us giving the lamest possible gift as a collegiate graduating class: “Hey, underclassmen. The seniors before us raised $6 million for the library. So, here’s our gift to you: one $25 gift card to Borders.”
Yeah, I know this all probably sounds elitist. But it’s not that “noob” shouldn’t be in the dictionary. It just seems that it shouldn’t carry the weight of marking a once in an ever transition in language.
We treat words and the people who can professionally use them as sideshows, it seems. The writers’ strike from 18 months ago? It’s a perfect example. Shows suck, now. Have you noticed? Sure there are obviously still well-written shows on TV. But there are scores of shows that couldn’t rebound (Heroes, I mean you). And the recession has meant that shows haven’t been able to retain writers like they would otherwise. I love some reality TV. But it’s no secret that most of us could’ve written most of those shows on a napkin after any long night of heavy drinking.
Words matter. And we should joke about them, make fun of them and abuse them almost as much as we want. I just think it would be ok, every once in a while, to admit how much of a disaster we’d be without them. ”Noob” doesn’t feel like enough of a concession.
But I don’t have any better ideas. So, “noob” it is, I guess. It just feels like we’re running out of words. And that feels really scary. So, I’m nervous. It just can’t be that we’re running out of ways to describe, can it?
I don’t even have anything to say to this. It’s so tremendously disappointing.
We aren’t running out of words.
We’re avoiding the ones that matter.
That’s a little more hopeful. I just can’t help but think about the fact that our alphabet only has 26 letters. I suppose it is mathematically provable that at some point, the possibility of viable combinations starts to decrease.
The awesomeness of my part-time job (and my discount) means that your $25 gift card, in reality, gives me $37.31 in spending power. ROCK!
Haha. That is awesome. And for the record, I would love a $25 gift card. I just imagine it would pale in comparison as a class gift.
In all seriousness, however, what gives a word value? Use. Languages change, English changes. My last semester at Towson, I took a “History of the English Language” class, and one day, the professor gave us a handout of words that at one time were dirty slang, but were now accepted as pretty high-brow and intellectual. Sadly, I don’t recall what any of those words were, off the top of my tiny-little pea brain, but I’ll see if I can dig them up.
Absolutely. I even tried thinking from the other side of this; that maybe we are perfecting the language at this stage in history and so creation of words is happening less remarkably. It’s sort of like with music: we’ve really only got the 12 semi-tones. At some point, we start to repeat ourselves. That just seems really sad.
I feel like it’s, um, you know, like, um…
Like, totally.
But…but…but what about ridonkulous? Or better yet, pwn’d. As long as it’s not sexting because teenagers makes the world cry. Oh, how our future scares me.
Love “ridonkulous.” And I suppose some people love “noob.” To each her/his own. But if it had been “sexting…”
*slow clap*
I read once that Shakespeare used something like 100, 000 words and the average person today uses 20, 000. I mean over the course of our lifetimes. Ack.
I think this ties in a bit with your post about swearing; honestly, nowadays it seems like people just curse instead of articulating how they feel.
That’s it, I’m going to read the dictionary for a few hours.
It made me want to go read, too; a really verbose novel or something.
errrr. what does noob mean?
It’s a variation on “newbie” (or maybe it’s the other way around). But it’s a way of saying “novice;” someone who’s wet behind the ears, or inexperienced and therefore uninformed about something. It’s a lot like being the new kid on the block.
As an editor, this makes me cry in my stomach a bit (don’t ask me how that’s physilogically possible but it’s happening). It does make me incredibly sad that we don’t use some of the best words in the dictionary. Of course I think I’m one of the few people left who actually has a real dictionary sitting on my desk (and I’m including my fellow editors in my office). I heart words. And noob just doesn’t cut it.
Exactly. I clicked the headline, feeling crazily-excited to learn the millionth word. And then it was… “noob.” Talk about a letdown.
Maybe I should use the dictionary sitting on my desk more so I don’t misspell words like physiologically.
Oh irony, how I love it when you make me look like a noob.
That’s what irony was made for.
Noob? Really? Well, I guess “meh” eventually made it in, too…
No way. Really? That does it. I’m sending them “felony-ig’nant.”
I’m glad I’m not the only one who had no clue as to the meaning of “noob”. Now let’s try using it in a sentence.
It was delightful meeting you last weekend; I hope I didn’t strike you as a complete NOOB.
Not at all. You were great. The car ride where we all joined in chorus celebrating the sight of civilization was hilarious.
God, I hate the word noob. I’d much rather have defriend.
Stanky would be an even better choice.
or sexting
Stanky would be a much better choice. That sounds like us/our generation. It’s of questionable origin, hilarious, and arguably disgusting. Good work.
i remember the fanfare “bootylicious” got when it was added to the dictionary. i think that’s worse than “noob.” but i too felt a similar let-down when i looked at that article.
also, not to be all bossy britches, but besides The Count of Monte Cristo, I would also rec The Mother Tongue by Bill Bryson to any semantics/vocab enthusiast!
Wow. Right: “bootylicious.” Ugh. Thank god it’s not that.
And not bossy at all. Perfect rec for the day.
Between your post and Maxie’s comments I’m giggling nonstop, which seems to be a re-occurring theme throughout blogland for last week or so… or maybe it’s just that I read a lot of people who happen to be funny bcause yes?
hmm..
noob, eh?
I kinda dig it..
::runs::
No! Come back! You can still dig “noob” and hang out here…
This is disappointing; ultimately, I know that the millionth word carries no more intrinsic value than the 999,999th or 1,000,001st, but I absolutely agree that if we are to mark the entry of the millionth word at all, it should be something more memorable than ‘noob’.
What of the ever-expanding fields of science and technology? Is there no new jargon worthy of inclusion? Surely even an abstruse scientific term – “exobiomorphology” or something – would at least allow us to glory in our societal progress as we mark the milestone.
This is not to say that we have to be sesquipedalian all the time, but ‘noob’? Noah Webster must be crying out in eternal unrest.
As far as the actual question of where all the words went, I think I might have used some of them up.
I’m with you. The first 999,999 should go out with a bang, not a whimper.
I make up at least 15 words a day.
So don’t worry… we’ll never run out.
If it had been your word, we would be better for it.
I actually kind of like the word noob. Not as much as I like the word pandemonium, but not every word gets to be our favorite.
I know. And to the creator(s) of “noob,” it’s not your fault. You made a word that works. It’s not a bad word. I just don’t think it’s ridiculous enough to be a shining example of what we have to offer or classical enough to fall in line with the old standards. So it falls in that middle area where it just probably shouldn’t wear the millionth crown, that’s all.
you should totally send them felony ig’nant. (i used that word in front of my word smart friend the other day and he thought it was brilliant…i gave the credits to you of course.
)
noob huh? idk if i like it that much to give it the “millionth word” title…
how about (heres a couple new ones for ya)
Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.
Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
whatya think? yes? no?
:BIG SMILES:
Now we are thinking! I just wanted something memorable. If we were going the ridiculous, slang route, we should have gone full steam ahead.
I’d like to nominate ‘bejesiotomy’, which is of course the forcible removal of bejesus from someone or something.
Any time you scare/pound/shag the bejesus out of something, you can take pride in the fact that you just performed the English language’s millionth word.
“Bejesiotomy?” You, sir, win the gold medal.
Noob. Noooooob! Lol, noob. Just too damn funny.
It sounds like “boob.”
I completely agree with this whole post. I’m getting sick of the web lexicon being accepted as English. Yet I think “bling” is more acceptable than “noob,” “defriend,” etc. I cannot tell you why–maybe because it has its roots in something other than the internet.
And television has suffered as a result of the writer’s strike. I cannot agree more with that statement.
TV has just gotten so soft. I always imagined that with all the advancements elsewhere in society that TV would get smarter and more cutting edge. Except for a few shows, it just hasn’t.
I hate this shit with every ounce of my being. Every time they throw a little slang in the dictionary I get pissed off!!! Why can’t ENGLISH stay ENGLISH and SLANG stay SLANG??? Seriously????? Drives me fucking nuts!
So some jackass banger wannabe says “He’s my bruffer” or “axe you a question” enough times and I have to take as PART OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE???
FUCK THAT!
(ok, sorry. I’m calm now. Uh, I better just go…)
You better come back. Because that was the most refreshing thing I’ve read all week.
Thought of this one a few years back, but it also bears mentioning here:
Fuznuck.
As in, if you still think that saying ‘shiznit’ gets you any street cred whatsoever, you are quite obviously an ignorant fuznuck. This is also increasingly true of ‘street cred’.
Oh please please please tell me “street cred” is fading. Please?
I don’t know if I want to suggest a word, because I’d suggest “Asshat.”
However with your idea of noob and defriend, it would say something about the times if it did become the millionth word but I don’t mind if it is.
I believe the 300 Millionth American was a Hispanic newborn- again a sign of the times we lived in when it happened.
Times are a-changing. I just don’t think “noob” captures us. It’s not bold enough.
Words are my life. It’s how I understand my existence.
Thank you thank you thank you.
I agree with Lusty Reader. If you’re a word guy, you need to find a copy of “The Mother Tongue: English and How It Got That Way” by Bill Bryson. If you just want to laugh until you cry, just ready ANYTHING by Bill Bryson.
Recommendation obeyed. Consider it done.
My favorite word is defenestrate. I had to look up noob. I guessed it was some kind of nubbin-like growth, but I guessed wrong. After this, I’m guessing I’ll never again use it in a sentence.
I’ll always remember what George Carlin said about words: There are 500,000 words in the English language and there’s seven you can’t say on TV. 499,993 to *seven*. Those must be some reeeeaaalllly bad words.
Defenestrate. Love that word. But I don’t think many of us ever use “noob.” Though I hear it’s huge amongst IT crowds.