Now, I’m sure they’re just dolls.
But DC, meet your new Plastics.
No, seriously, they even pose like the movie characters:
See?
The two women in the middle of the photo at the top are two-thirds of the Blonde Charity Mafia. That’s right: the Blonde, Charity, Mafia.
If you’re like me at all, odds are you are now experiencing one of the following:
a) the best laugh you’ve had in weeks,
b) a wicked reintroduction to your gag reflex, or
c) fierce anger.
This story isn’t new. The DCist and The Washington Post have been all over it. These DC-socialite ladies are going to have their own reality show. Naturally, it will be produced by those responsible for The Simple Life. And can you guess what network picked up the show?
Not MTV or Bravo. Not even Lifetime. Let me repeat: Lifetime — network of epic fail and tremendous suck — said no. What could that possibly leave? No, not Peter Griffin’s side-boob public access channel either.
But if you guessed The CW — home of syndication and WB-UPN televisional residue — you win!
Thank god for the interwebs, there are two things about the show already online.
1) the Blonde Charity Mafia blog and
2) leaked portions of the show’s script.
And thanks to fishbowlDC, part of that second one includes:
Natalie: Can I get you a “Dresser”?
Sophie: A what?
Natalie: A “Dresser” — a cocktail to drink while you get dressed. Duh.
Well, isn’t that just delightful?
So here’s what we’re gonna do, people (I can’t believe what I’m about to say). Normally I’d say we should run from this like the plague or, at best, only watch it as part of a drinking game. But their blog has a page for their bios and, thank jebus, that includes the bars they like. The next step should be obvious.
If you are in DC, or plan on ever being here in the near future, we’re going to find these ladies and see for ourselves just how disastrous this train wreck can be. One of their favorite places is Third Edition and hey: I’ve already been there.
I know, I know. But listen: part of me still believes this might not be real. Maybe we’ll be surprised, right? Maybe they’re brilliant, socially aware young women just trying to find their place in the world like the rest of us, notwithstanding that their collective trust funds probably rival the GDP of our recessive nation.
Or maybe us laughing so hard in the background during some of their taping will ruin a scene the producers really wanted to air for its… well, stuff like this:
Phone rings – It’s SOPHIE’s dad – He grills her for leaving work in the middle of the day after she showed up 2 hours late. Sophie apologizes and then promises to be in early the next day. She hangs up.
SOPHIE: He’s so ridiculous…are you kidding me? Get off my back. I have bigger problems than my dumb job right now.
A dresser? Um. The bottle of vodka I drank in the shower will be fine thankyouverymuch.
If it can’t wait, it can’t wait, I guess.
I don’t even have words for this except, maybe, I will not be watching. Wow.
I honestly haven’t decided yet. I feel like the locality of it means that sheer curiosity will win out for the first ten minutes of the premier episode.
Omg I’m like so excited to see this show! We should start going to Third Edition to see if we can end up as extras.
Done and done. I will email you.
I am totally asking for a dresser the next time I am getting ready. Sorry. I feel like they have given me a gift.
Drinks during [insert almost any activity] works for me. It’s the word that seems really cutesy.
Offensive on so very many levels.
This is why I, the Great Mouse Detective, am going to get to the bottom of this.
Actually, I kinda want a Dresser now…
Charity and Mafia seem incongruous, though.
Agreed. I want what a dresser is; right now would be great. I just don’t want to use that name.
I can’t get over “Blonde Charity Mafia.”
Also, I want to see the train wreck, live, too! It’ll probably end up as a drinking game anyway.
How the heck did I miss this last night?
Crash parties. Someone needs to organize them. Stat.
Also, someone needs to find a way in with the producer. Potentially as a mistress.
Opportunities like this don’t come our way often.
my favorite people to stalk on facebook and AIM were those that i hated. that way i had more fodder with which to detest and make fun of them. i am SUPER over the moon about this show so we can do just that, that’s why I watch the Hills and Tool Academy, pure comedic value. plus any press for dc is good press.
A dresser, is that like a shower beer?
Can I put my head through plate glass now, because there is no way I can tolerate this behavior in my new found neighbor. I mean, I am moving there to avoid things like this.
On a lighter note, my beer is almost ready.
DC is weird.
Very.
I guess DC needed something to fill the vapid void left when Jenna Bush coverage settled down. Should be hilarious and disturbing all at the same time.
Jenna. The memories.
I’m with PQ on “Crash Parties.” Can we dress as white trash as possible, too? Where the hell did I put my flannel?
I have a flannel jacket. Why am I telling this?
Oh holy hell!
Pain!
Pain behind my left eye!
PAIN!!!!!
I know that headache.
O M G.
I LOVE THESE GAMES!
Fuck. I am pissed that I dont get to play make the plastics melt game.!!!
Well, I’m sure a version of this game is coming to a city near you.
Holy crap, I seriously looked at that first picture for a good 2 minutes trying to determine if they were one of those wax museum exhibits or if they were real people.
I wish I live in DC now. Well, especially now.
They are apparently very real. I’m trying to think if I’ve seen them around anywhere.
Lived. Not live. They made me dumber by association.
See how dangerous this game will be?
I am in serious disbelief. I didn’t even know about the existence of this show, and you are right, I started laughing and ended up with a serious gag-reflex. I am all for the crash parties. When is the next one?
I need to send out a mass email about that.
ughhh i hate it. why does “reality” tv have to focus so much on this above average ideal (well, depends on your definition of above average) that most of america cannot afford or strive to (and who would want to?). it’s all so superficial. but at least you can make fun of them, i guess.
Making fun is definitely a “least we can do” thing.
[...] of my hat to my blogger friend f.B. for informing me of DC’s new mafia. Blonde Charity Mafia that [...]
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